bonelessdoughnuts

For all the things that could have been those are not I am swimming without sight of shore in a sea of cognitive dissonance I am a walking contradiction with one leg longer than the other in a desert without landmarks I have spent a life moving endlessly without direction When I think I am on a course that will lead from desolates only to find myself no closer to shore or still walking in circles I know there must be a way because I see so many others, But I think how many are lost like me but do not even know it Maybe it's better to be lost forever searching Than to find something you were never looking for and give that thing you f

  The light under Will the laughing willow is made up of incondite bugs in jars. Every couple days the gnome lays out small glass jars of honey and into it climb these incondite bugs that live up to two weeks in the jars, and live by the pond season long. I watch the gnome work the small printing press in the surprisingly bright bug lights. I take a page off the press and read    As the noble class captures our daughters and slaughters our sons in the streets, we mourn without recourse in silence as any such gathering public or private is considered an affront to the crown, as is being caught in the possession of this

Rent in the silver city is paid in one way or another. From the 77 members of the king's councils of 7, all the way down to a hand dryer towel of an ally cat. Cats will go to great lengths to be lazy. "They give him milk and fish in exchange for the dead rats he leaves in their doorways." That was Eliza's explanation of how the Charcoal feline was on the roof dragging its white gut right toward us. Eliza's answers often open a box deeper than that of Pandora. When I inquired more she said "The rats don't go in the ally anymore they must have spread the word about big man (cat's name) or blocked of the holes or something., If he does

Eliza and I in our room in the castle and I know she does not belong to me 217 that was the number of ceiling squares I counted before I was interrupted "I'm sorry, I just" she paused. I know what is coming. Anything that comes after 'I just' is justification that they just don't have anything to be sorry for. So as I was telling her she did not need to explain and I understand "She said you don't understand anything 'I love you!' more than anything! But, you don't love me like I love you, you love your words, you love your war, you love your legacy, you want to be immortal, but now one lives forever, not even in words there are too many

The gate guards were humanoid Rhinos, dressed in black poly cotton suits with blood red sashes that had the words gate guard scripted out in silver thread, as if was not obvious enough as to what they were guarding. Black leather combat boots that were the size of my arm and as   If the rhino men were not imposing enough they had specially modified assault rifles rested vertically with the butt in there right hand and the barrel rested on their broad shoulders. Eliza pokes the rhino in his stomach while looking up to his face, in her other hand she is balancing a cloudy blue paper umbrella  (the latest fashion) on her shoulder much in the wa

It must be coming from a broken home that attracts me automatically to crazy chicks, water seeks its own level and why do they have to be so pretty, crazy is not enough on it s own it must be my insecurity tied in with my narcissism. The man and the flower, but me I would look at my reflection in the water all day putting myself down. While my lost love echo would end up in the cave with some other mythological man yelling insults at me.   I think she's right I'm crazy keeping this journal not knowing if it is worth anything but damn it when it is all you have and you love it, you hold it close and you protect it and damn if I'm go

 I walk out of the tattoo parlor, clutching my wrist, thinking the money was well-spent. My friends walk quickly down the steps, eager to eat, be full. At the next story down there is a man huddled in the corner, ripped, dirty coat wrapped tight around his crumpled frame, worn out sneakers, stained sweatpants, fraying gloves. My friends don't really notice him, or pretend not to, but my heart squeezes a bit as I turn the corner, clutching my wrist, believing my money was well-spent. But at the third step I shudder with selfishness, heartlessness, pray to God that I don't turn into judgment and lack of humility. I swivel around, nearly fal

I The alarm wakes me. Brutal slamming screeching infernal creature. Forcing my eyelids apart. Forcing reality back in. Tearing me away from a frightful peace. The drapes had not been drawn over the expansive window last night and blue-grey morning creeps into the room like San Francisco fog. An analogue of the aftermath of a personal tragedy. Over the horizon of my pillow the search beacon of the lighthouse down the breakwater swims about in fixed linear rotation. The slow motion explosions of light tolling for lost souls. I sit up on the edge of the bed, the sheets and blankets now cold against my thighs. Stare through the red wine glaze

 Trains thunder and lips crash. It's another sweaty, pulsating night hidden by red curtains and a hand over her mouth. The train horn blows and she arches her back, eyes squeezed tight, her clothes scattered across the floor like leaves. She recedes into the crevice of his collarbone with a breath of addiction, kisses it with dejection. His conviction to keep her in his arms is hard like cinderblock and his eyes are puddles of passion dripping her name as he whispers: "I love you." The earth hums, the train screeches, accelerates, the conductor loses control. Hot breath, rhythmic exertion, his name (and God) condensate on glass, and tre

The next day, when I opened the box again, I found a little black notebook. It was old and a little dusty, but before I even opened it, I knew just what it is. A spellbook. I opened the first page and saw a light spell. I decided to try it. I turned off the lights, and realised the letters glow in the dark. Cool! I put it on my desk and tried to concentrate. "Lux!" I said, but nothing happened. "Lux!" I said again, louder. There were a few sparks in the dark comming from my hands. "Lux!!" I said, this time I really shouted. For a second I was worried Derek could hear me but then I realised they aren't home. They went to watch Aiden's foo

 As much as she doesn't mean to him he means to her. Time shared with him is kissing, sex, and good impressions. There are hardly laughs or smiles towards the end, only forced conversation, undressing, and silence. Like the roaring waves of a tempest he pushes himself against her, into her and frightens her with his strength and his coldness. She watches him with affection as his eyes glaze over her legs in public, thinking that he finds her beautiful. But she avoids eye contact, knows deep down that he's only picking out her imperfections, taking the time to find anything that dissatisfies him. He seduces her with reused words, strateg